(Passages from Internal Wealth: Basic Insights on Quality Living)

Rough and Tumble
 
One of the most influential books in my life, in terms of my attitude toward life’s struggles, is The Road Less Traveled, written by M. Scott Peck.  The first three words of the first chapter are “life is difficult.”  Once someone can truly understand and accept this fact, when difficulty comes along, it’s not such a surprise, even though the burden may be great.  Scott’s insight holds that some difficulty is understood to be a natural part of life: without negative there can be no positive.  No dark, no light.  You will experience difficult times in the future -- everyone will.  Scott taught me a lot that year, and I’ve faced some hard times.  Then again, who hasn’t? 
 
All you have to do is watch the history channel to see that the human experience has been everything but what we ideally term “a good life.”  Western culture tends to paint an image of a good life being a pain-free, never-have-to-work, buy-all-you-want, follow every impulse kind of life.  These are common ideas shared by many, but one problem they create is that many people’s daily lives contain at least some discomfort, daily work, ordinary tasks, and rarely if ever, enough of what they want.  We begin with an idea of what a good life is, but the idea is tied to unrealistic goals for the masses, and the small percentile that achieve the goals are still finding that realizing the idea does not equal happiness, satisfaction, or a meaningful life.
 
With a subtle shift in attitude, it’s possible and valuable to be both receptive to and accepting of difficulty.  One common alternative is to struggle against it.  Struggling against difficulty tends to compound the tension by doubling the struggle: first there is the difficulty itself, and second, the struggle against it.  To struggle against what’s going on is to struggle against life: your life.  Have you ever done any of these? 
 
·        Yell out angrily against things that should not have been.
·        Blame someone for what was going on.
·        Lament in self-pity.
·        Wonder why something was happening.
·        Explain, complain, whine; you know the drill.
·        Wish something that was happening, wasn’t happening.
 
Maybe you can think of a few as well.  The insight here is that, if we want to create more harmony in our lives, doesn’t it make sense that we accept more of what’s in our lives?  My friend Art Sutherland recently said, “How can you appreciate where you are if you haven’t been where you’ve been?”  Struggling against what’s going on can take as much energy out of you as just going through the experience itself.  Complaining that something is inconvenient doesn’t make it any less convenient.  The only place a complaint is useful is if it’s being offered to someone who can solve the problem.  Obsessively wondering why things happen is not useful to defining what, in fact is happening and what your responsibility is in responding to the facts that make up your life.  Lamenting over the chore life is, is destructive to life itself.  (Continues in the book.)

Believing Limits

An insight came to me the other day as I listened to a seminar leader talk about “limiting beliefs.”  Maybe you have heard or read this stuff -- much derived from The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.

The idea encourages you to become aware of the beliefs that limit you:

·       Negative self-talk.

·       Beliefs that hold you back from growing into your full potential.

·       Ideas that you aren’t worth whatever you deserve.

·       Feelings of inadequacy. 

·       The vague mental thought processes that hold you back, but you may not have fully examined, and may not be aware exist.

The speaker went through an exercise that helps uncover limiting beliefs.  Through becoming aware of them, you try to control them so you can re-create your own reality and go on to have all the things you want.  That’s the idea anyway.

See, I had discovered an important insight relating to belief systems.  They limit us.  We’re all limited in some ways.  We like to think we’re not.  It’s more comfortable to think of your self -- of everything as unlimited.  I found paradox in the idea of “no limits.”  I could see that even the people that have mastered influence over their belief systems are also limited.  Not by limiting beliefs, but by belief itself.  Belief can act as a filter from seeing what’s true -- I had seen this happen in my life and had witnessed it in others.  The stronger conviction you have about something, the harder it is to move you from that position, even with glaring facts that point in the opposite direction.

Breaking the Barriers

I had discovered that even the rare breeds that have:

·        Identified their limiting beliefs

·        Honed their reframing ability to think only positive thoughts

·       Controlled their psychological environment

·       Adapted the idea of “unlimited untapped potential”, and so on…

… are still limited … but fulfill more of their potential to understand when they use observation as a tool with which to measure reality by.  You can look throughout history and find that humankind has used beliefs as the primary system to understand and attempt to control his environment.  With the passing of time, we have learned that our beliefs are often different than reality.

The list of beliefs that have stunted our ability to see simple facts is long, but a few that come to mind are:

• The world is flat
• If we were meant to fly we'd have wings
• Nobody can run a four-minute mile
• The world's resources are inexhaustible
• All wolves and birds of prey are vermin
• Everything is relative
• If I just get                                 then I'll be happy.

Identi-flagration and Normalcy

If you look, you may find that we set up a system long ago in which beliefs explain facts we don’t understand.  Beliefs were formed to explain the mysteries of life.  Facts have been discovered through observation, and what is not understood is explained, in terms of beliefs.  People in history who have continued observing, then describing facts that went against the grain of common belief have been named lunatics, heretics, and blasphemers.  Many have been tortured, killed, or exiled.  That’s the reward for seeing facts first.  Ironically, facts were here long before men were.  We just decided to interpret and judge them using ideas and beliefs to do so.  One problem is that we attach our identities to our beliefs and ideas.  Anyone who challenges the status quo challenges our identity.  Anyone who challenges our identity is in for a fight. Fight with authority and you’re punished.  So the entitled always win.  Or do they? 

(more on this topic in the book.)

Now a question for you.  What if I told you there are some places in life you may not want to pursue advantage?  The next chapter shows how it can actually be dis-advantageous to seek advantages. Check it out.)

Stop back again to read more in the future.  Here's a page that's more fun.